Account
Chad
28 | 6'2"
Twitter
@MrAlphasAlpha - 570.2K Followers
Notable Holdings
BAYC
PROOF Collective
CryptoDickbutts
Your Matches
Sophie
25 | 5'5" | She/Her
ETH Maxi Lila
20 | 5'11 | She/Her
No Hookups Becca
28 | 5'9 | She/Her/They
Fav Feature: Pink Hair >:) Your Date Stats: Powered by
Fuck-N-Suck-AI 4.1 from OpenAI
Fuck-N-Suck-AI 4.1 from OpenAI
Estimated Sexual Partners:
- 2-3 partners a year
- 2.5-3.8 months between each sexual partner
- 0% probability of cheating on you with another partner
- 2-3 partners a year
- 2.5-3.8 months between each sexual partner
- 0% probability of cheating on you with another partner
Gold Member Reward - Like a Glove
Chad, we don't have to tell you that size matters. According to our stats, your penis ranks above the 99.9999th% of both length and girth out of all of our male users. However, you also know that it can sometimes be *too* big. Here is our gameplan to make sure that you are Sophie go together like a puzzle:
Tips to get her ready:
- Give her a smirk (200% moist increase)
- Stare into her eyes (400% moist increase)
- Tell her you sold the top of Dogecoin
(99% probability of squirting orgasm)
Chad, we don't have to tell you that size matters. According to our stats, your penis ranks above the 99.9999th% of both length and girth out of all of our male users. However, you also know that it can sometimes be *too* big. Here is our gameplan to make sure that you are Sophie go together like a puzzle:
Tips to get her ready:
- Give her a smirk (200% moist increase)
- Stare into her eyes (400% moist increase)
- Tell her you sold the top of Dogecoin
(99% probability of squirting orgasm)
Red Flags:
- Not safe with private keys
- Spends ~ .1.85 ETH on Doordash a year
- Has already masturbated to your twitter profile picture
since starting this conversation
- Not safe with private keys
- Spends ~ .1.85 ETH on Doordash a year
- Has already masturbated to your twitter profile picture
since starting this conversation
Estimated VIBE Between You and Sophie: 100%
Your messages with Sophie.
7:18pm
Sup Sophie
Heeeeyyyyy Chad :)
7:51pm Just an FYI... i luv your twitter ♥♥♥♥♥
8:53pm 11:27pm
Small world. Always nice to meet a fan
11:27pm
And a very cute one at that ;) It's a shame you're an ETH maxi
Awwwwww :( Surpised to hear that from a guy who's holding multiple apes
11:31pm 9:10am
I love ETH. But I also love BTC, MATIC, SOL. I love crypto for what it is.. there's not one that should rule the world
hmmmm. maybe you could come over tonight and take a look at my ... assets ... i promise, im a dedicated student and a fast learner ;)
9:34am 2:41pm
Sophie sent you her number. I can do that. Send me your number
Your Date Stats: Powered by
Fuck-N-Suck-AI 4.1 from OpenAI
Fuck-N-Suck-AI 4.1 from OpenAI
Estimated Fetishes
- Daddy domination
- Impregnation w/ tall man to create hyper-athletic
breed of humans
- Daddy domination
- Impregnation w/ tall man to create hyper-athletic
breed of humans
Possible Roadblocks
- "No Hookups" - 99% chance of overcoming
- Conflicting Political Views - 95% chance
of overcoming
- Pressure to Not Wear a Condom and
Impregnate - 35% chance of overcoming
- "No Hookups" - 99% chance of overcoming
- Conflicting Political Views - 95% chance
of overcoming
- Pressure to Not Wear a Condom and
Impregnate - 35% chance of overcoming
Estimated VIBE Between You and Lila: 99%
Your messages with Lila. Lila sent her address.
hiiiiiiii :)
12:13pm 4:43pm
Hi Lila.
You're hot af
4:46pm Are you gonna ask me out or?????
5:05pm 8:58pm
Don't really do dates these days. But I'm down to make your legs quiver.
Tbh i was like reaaally into you but im looking for something real
9:15pm 10:27pm
I am too busy in life to date at the moment. When I'm not working out, I'm running my businesses and investing.
10:28pm
The only reason I'm on here is to get girls to sit on my face and give them the best dick of their lives. I understand if that's not what you're into.
Dick pic?
10:49pm 11:46pm
*You sent an attachment.*
omfg.... and it still looks soft
11:47pm come over now
11:47pm Your Date Stats: Powered by
Fuck-N-Suck-AI 4.1 from OpenAI
Fuck-N-Suck-AI 4.1 from OpenAI
Conflicting Values
- Single Mom
- Improper Grammar
- Jerry Springer Tattoo
- Thinks Bitcoin is an "Internet Nerd Money" Scam
- Single Mom
- Improper Grammar
- Jerry Springer Tattoo
- Thinks Bitcoin is an "Internet Nerd Money" Scam
Estimated Porn Preferences
- Wrestling
- Public Bukkake Shaming
- Child Support Cuckoldry
- Wrestling
- Public Bukkake Shaming
- Child Support Cuckoldry
Gold Member Reward - Code Purple: Toxic
By our estimate, this user exhibits extreme toxic behaviors and traits. It is best to steer clear, and maybe look a little longer before swiping next time?
By our estimate, this user exhibits extreme toxic behaviors and traits. It is best to steer clear, and maybe look a little longer before swiping next time?
Estimated VIBE Between You and Becca: 3%
Your messages with Becca.
hey handsome
6:18pm you like my ass?
8:44pm 10:27pm
Wait... is that a kid in your profile pic?
ur goddamn right! bonquavius is the light of my muh fuckin life. lemme guess: you just like erry other bitch ass man on this app huh? Don't wanna STEP UP and be a REAL MAN to a woman that has a CHILD, HUH? IT'S GIVING MAN CHILD, OKUUURRRRR
1:52am 7:09pm
You blocked and reported Becca. Hard pass
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We are not responsible for any of the following:
- STDs/STIs/Unwanted Pregnancies
- Heartbreak
- You're significant other gaining your trust through a committed relationship, only to find out that they one day steal all of your private keys
- Unknowingly getting involved with a simp, cuck, 304, or Reddit mod
Marriage Clause:
Getting Hitched? Did you meet through our service? Well then, great news! You are eligible to mint a free "Successful Lovebirds" NFT!!! Holders of this NFT get $500 towards wedding expenses, on us! (Rules and stipulations apply. Wedding must include official shoutout to The Love Ledger. Marriage must last at least 10 years without being legally terminated.)